dollhouse world
by vapiddreamscape
Summary: For years, you lived in this dollhouse world, where everything was manipulated by you. Then, they came, and it was destroyed. An angsty Luna Lovegood freeverse with Neville/Luna at the end. EDITED!


_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, although I wish I did._

_Warnings: depression, talks about suicide_

* * *

_Dollhouse World_

You were the weird one.

The one who _always_

got picked last.

You said you didn't Care

but truth was _{is}_

you _**did**__._

* * *

For six years

_Six years!_

You lived in this _d/o\l/l\h/o\u/s\e world_

Where everything was

PERFECTION.

**You** were The Manipulator

Everything happened the way _you_ wanted it to

And nothing bad _ever_ happened

You were IMPERVIOUS.

No one,

Nothing,

Could hurt you,

Leave you s|c|a|r|r|e|d.

Until **THEY**came.

* * *

The Deatheaters.

They h_u_rt you.

H_u_rt you in ways.

That you never _d~r~e~a~m~e~d _possible.

There was

UNIMAGINABLE torture

& pain

**so much PAIN!**

They s/h/a/t/t/e/r/e/d your

D^o^l^l^h^o^u^s^e.

In all its miniature _perfection._

They hurt your f.r.i.e.n.d.s

_[The first friends you had for a long, long time.]_

& the boy you maybe (_definitely)_ loved

* * *

then they _kidnapped _you

&& you thought for a _minute_

Thatthingsmight_not_besobad

Better even

You could escape

_∧& find the glue to repair_

Your dollhouse

(That dream was terribly misguided,

even a little **insane**

but they called you _LoonyLuna_

for a reason.

_**Didn't they?**_)

* * *

In your dungeon

There was _no light_

No e_s_cap_e_

So you p.a.s.s.e.d the days

D/\r/\e/\a/\m/\i/\n/\g with the others

_Talking_

Sometimes you even tried to make them

L*a*u*g*h,

if such a thing is possible in **Hell****_._**

They said that you were

a beacon of _light_

Down there.

But where there is _light_

**Darkness** lurks

_**closeby**_.

* * *

When all the rest were sleeping,

_Dreaming_ their s~u~g~a~r~p~l~u~m d*r*e*a*m*s

You started to repair you dollhouse

With what little glue you had left with you.

& even though the cracks were still HUGE and gaping

you ventured inside again.

You were addicted _&_ you knew it.

You _craved _the high you achieved

When you were u.n.t.o.u.c.h.a.b.l.e.

& could feel no pain

Or EMOTION

When the pain of the world was weighing you

D

O

W

N

you were desperate for your Dollhouse

because the pain was Too Much

If you didn't _have_ it

The world would

**CRASH** around your ears.

The emotion would

EAT YOU _**ALIVE**_.

The _rest_ of the world

(well … the prison world you resided in)

Still saw you as

Loony Luna

And you were

_On_ _the_ _outside at least_

(You wore the façade well)

But inside

You there was a stormy sea

Waves THREATening to bury you

You STILL hadn't f.i.x.e.d your dollhouse

It was defective.

You could still feel.

And that was _**exactly **_what you were trying to avoid.

* * *

the rescue was welcome

Cooped up with your thoughts any longer

you _might_ have just

**EXPLODED!**

But then that nice elf

_(Dobby! that was his name!)_

saved you

& he died

& you were the tiniest bit

_jealous._

When you closed his eyes.

You thought that

Maybe if it had been you

You _could have been_ living in your dollhouse

_Far_ away from all the suffering.

It would be **fixed**

and you wouldn't have to feel.

* * *

THE BATTLE

You helped Harry

_([What a good friend])_

& then you fought on

**_Autopilot_**.

Curses were cast.

Jinxes flew.

You narrowly escaped the hand of Death

A _million_ times.

People all around you

**F**

**E**

**L**

**L**

Those you were fighting _with_

& those you fought **against**.

_Seconds_ turned into _hours_.

Until a voice

_The voice of __pure_

**Evil**

/S/l/i/c/e/d/ through the air

"_Collect your dead."_

.{~xx~}.

There were so many

Colin (!YOUR AGE!~!UNDERAGE!)

Lupin and Tonks (!THEIR SON!)

Fred (!his business!~!his family!)

& _soSO_ many others

They

p

i

l

e

d

in your soul

One on top of

another

drowning you in blood and tears.

* * *

The battle was over.

GOOD had TRIUMPHED!

Voldemort's body had been _burned_.

& most all d~a~n~c~e~d

Among the ashes.

You sat a.l.o.n.e

Desperate to find your dollhouse

Among the t/a/n/g\l\e/d\ mess of emotion you didn't want to feel

S/p\i/d\e/r/\\w/e\b/b/i\n\\g though your brain.

He placed a hand on your shoulder

& sat (_awkwardly_) beside you.

And you looked up into his eyes

At his

_Bruised_battlebattered face.

he was A Hero.

_(Now he knew_

_What you _always_ did.)_

No words were exchanged.

(:Smiles:) were instead.

You felt almost...

H

A

P

P

Y

And for the first time in six years

You found that emotion wasn't so bad.

* * *

There were funerals.

SO MANY!

For those

Too young!

_(Colin, Lupin, Tonks, Fred)_

Your _dollhouseworld_

Now fixed _(though it still had those cracks)_

had become your

Last safe haven.

Or the feelings would eat you.

But with all the _continuous use_

it was more broken than ever

The cracks you filled

opened once more

**deeper** than ever before.

* * *

You visited him, 2two2 years later

You wanted to tell him

That you were leaving

_Forever_.

_(SUICIDE] _

_[such an ugly word, isn't it?)_

You wanted to tell him,

The pain was too much

& you were sorry

You were sorry you never said

_I love you._

those 3 words

8 little letters

_{maybe if you had…_

_things would have been different}_

* * *

He looked …

Different.

_(maybe you were the one_

_who had changed?)_

He invited you in.

Tea was served.

Yes, it was s*w*e*e*t

But it had never calmed you.

_(today was no exception)_

* * *

You babbled

In the usual LoonyLuna way

But soon you reached

The

3 HEART 3

Of the matter.

Goodbye

Was on the

'T'I'P' of your tongue

Leaving its bitter taste

But.

You.

Couldn't.

You FLEW out the door

And TORE down the stairs

And stumbled_tumbled_

Into the pouring rain.

He followed

Called your name.

You turned

And saw him running at you

Barefoot and determined

With a (:_smile:) _in his eyes

_BAM!_

His lips met yours

and for the first time in a **long **time

a _long, long, long_ time

you were smiling.

You were HAPPY!

And then,

the ruins of your dollhouse

D.i.s.i.n.t.e.g.r.a.t.e.d

with a

_POOF_! and a POP!

They were gone.

* * *

It turns out,

your perfect _dollhouseworld_

Wasn't necessary.

All you ever needed was him

**Neville Longbottom,**

the boy you _definitely _loved.

* * *

Emotion wasn't so bad anymore


End file.
